How to have patience waiting for "The One"

“Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety”

~ A Course in Miracles

Ahhh the ‘P’ word. Patience and I have not always got along; we still struggle for power in our relationship today. My Ego likes to be in control, powering ahead into action to make things happen, feel productive and get fulfillment out of every day, whereas Patience asks that I sit back, settle in, surrender, ask, listen and wait. This is excruciating for me sometimes, but I can honestly look back and say that the times I actually managed to be patient ended up giving me so much more than I had even imagined. This is especially true if I am talking about my romantic relationship. I can very vividly imagine back to when I was single and yearning to find my soulmate. I had done so much work on myself, but finding someone who matched my values, wanted a relationship and wasn’t afraid to do the work was still a struggle. I would go on dates and immediately know that this person wasn’t the one, or sometimes it would take me a few weeks to figure it out, but I felt frustrated, defeated, confused and scared. I thought to myself “if I have done this much work on myself already, and still can’t find love, is there any hope at all?!” I remember asking those coupled up where they’d met, reading article after article about what work to do on myself to get me ready for my soulmate and putting so much energy and focus into the task at hand: Find.The.One. The truth was, however, at that time I didn’t know how to do it any other way. I didn’t know how to be patient or how to have faith. I didn’t know what others could see, that the timing just wasn’t quite right but that I had nothing to worry about. Instead I kept my drive and focus strong and determined so that I felt like at least I wasn’t giving up.

Until one day I did give up. One day, it all became just too exhausting. The thoughts, the emotional ups and downs, the dating, the worrying and the energy put into everything I was doing. One day, I decided to let it all go. I got to a place where I said to myself “Laura, you know what you are looking for and what you deserve, and if you are 40 or 50 or 60 years old when that happens, then that is what is best for you.” And I meant it. Every word. I had said those things to myself before but never really believed them, but this time, I believed the words and I felt it in my heart.

There is no step by step program for being patient or for waiting for things in life. Sometimes we have to exhaust ourselves in order to get to our breaking point of being able to let go, other times, we won’t need to go that far. But if we want something really bad, with every fiber of our being, and we know it will help us grow, help us give back, and help us love, then we lose the ability to force it into existence. We know in our hearts that there is something we want because we can feel it enrich our lives even if we don’t have it yet, then we can wait with patience knowing that the best possible option is on the way. While you are waiting, have some fun. Try some new experiences, get out of your comfort zone and enjoy your own company thoroughly. This will not only allow you to be patient, but it will allow you to step back from trying to force something along that maybe wasn’t meant for you. The process can be hard sometimes, Lord do I know it, but there’s a reason it’s there and we have to trust that. Once we can settle down and tune into our lives, we open up space for something, or someone else to enter it.

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