The Antidote to Fear

“Action is the Antidote to Fear”
~ Marie Forleo

I heard the above quote a few weeks ago from Marie Forleo and it really, really struck me deep. In the past, I used to think that as long as I did the mental work on myself, read books, did my journal entries, meditated, practiced yoga and ate healthy that I was doing everything I needed to do in order to heal my wounds and learn to use my voice. As it turns out, I was missing one major step in the process. All of those things did a good job of building my self-confidence and self-trust, but the one thing they didn’t do was scare me. Those activities made me feel good, but they didn’t make me uncomfortable. They didn’t stir up excitement or nervousness and although they were solitary actions, they didn’t include others and I felt like I was missing something. Then one day I realized I wasn’t taking action. I wasn’t putting myself out there to a level that was really vulnerable and I knew I was going to have to step it up if I was really going to see the changes in my life that I wanted to see.

So often we know what we need to do, but we stop ourselves, we shrink and we step back into a self-sabotaging pattern because although we aren’t happy, we are comfortable. We don’t tell our Mom her snippy comment hurt our feelings, we don’t tell our Dad we wish he would stop making those judgmental comments, we don’t tell our partners that we need them to act differently, we don’t tell our friends we don’t need solutions, we just need to talk. We keep all of these things inside because we are afraid our voices don’t matter and we are scared our actions and our voice will hurt others.

The best tool I have learned to overcome this paralyzing fear is to set an intention to speak with love before any conversation. If I focus on sending love and compassion towards the other person I am much calmer not matter what reaction they may have. This energy and intention will be felt by the person on the other end and it will change the outcome of the conversation. You may still not receive the amount of support you were hoping for, or your partner may get defensive, but you will feel so much better about how you handled yourself. When we speak with love and an intention to share rather than convince or be right that energy is far more powerful full than the opposite. Our needs will be heard, our feelings can be validated and our hearts can be lifted. Our voices are very powerful tools and speaking up for ourselves and standing strong in our boundaries is one of the most loving actions we can take for ourselves. Be brave, take action, speak up and feel uplifted.