How I Handled my FOMO and Started Having Fun in Dating

Online dating has completely changed the way we find our partners these days. It can be a wonderful way to meet people we wouldn’t normally run into, but it can also create a lot of anxiety, which is not a good thing if you already have anxiety about dating! I signed up for online dating twice while I was single, the first time I signed up on 3 different sites because I was terrified if I didn’t sign up for all of them I might possibly miss meeting my soulmate. It was absolute hell being on 3 different sites at once. All of my time went into scrolling through faces, skimming profiles and debating on if I should reach out to ‘him’ or if I should wait until he initiated. I was constantly checking my phone to see if I had any new emails or messages and it completely took over my life. I was also still going out every chance I got to try and meet people. I’d say yes to every invitation and every event that included men thinking that if I didn’t go I might miss out on a chance of changing my relationship status.

I let fear completely run my life and my free time. I had no idea who I actually was or what I enjoyed doing because I spent so much time focusing on what I thought I needed to do to find someone. It was exhausting and after 3 months I quit the online dating because I couldn’t do it anymore.

I began to see that I could not control finding my soulmate and I had to step back and let my life unfold the way I wanted it to. I had to surrender some things and learn how to let my life flow the way it was intended. That was not an easy thing for me to do, and it took me a long time to be comfortable with saying no to events and staying in on the weekends if I wanted or needed to. But learning how to do this also allowed space for actual relationships to enter my life. I began meeting people out doing normal everyday things. I was asked out for coffee twice while just walking home from work one summer. It amazed me that the more I focused on myself the more attractive I was. I didn’t need to put so much time and effort and energy into dating. I could let it find me and I felt at peace with the process. And I am so thankful that I had this experience back then because now I have FOMO creeping up in my business. The lessons we learn translate in our lives to all other areas, they don’t just stay in one spot. And if we require further learning, which most likely you will, the lessons will show up somewhere else as they are for me building my business. I have to constantly go back to the lessons I learned while dating now and remember there are some things I just need to surrender and let go of and I am so grateful I have my single days to relate back to now for guidance.

I did end up doing online dating once more after all of this as well, but I signed up for one site only and stuck to a rule of 1 date per week because that’s all I could handle. I put boundaries up for myself because I wanted time outside of the dating process to be able to stay connected to me. This allowed me to actually enjoy online dating the second time around because I was not afraid of missing out on someone or something. I had fun getting to know new people and when I supported myself I had a much better experience.