Laura

3 Ways to Build Trust in Yourself to Start Attracting Genuine People

“I’ve come to trust not that events will always unfold exactly as I want, but that I will be fine either way. The challenges we face in life are always lessons that serve our soul’s growth”

~ Marianne Williamson

When it comes to finding love and dating, trusting yourself is key! Do you find you have problems trusting people to do what they say they are going to do? Are you attracting dates that are shady, play mind games and seem untrustworthy? Does someone say they will call you, text you, get in touch with you, say they had a great time, and then you never hear from them again? Maybe they tell you they are really into yoga, spirituality, and exercise, or that they aren’t into partying and then over time you begin to see these things aren’t true. If this is the case it's the perfect time to start building confidence and trust within!

I would define self-trust as a deep inner-knowing when you make decisions and a complete calmness when you make them. Self-trust is having the confidence in yourself to have integrity to you first, and then to others. It means sticking to your commitments made to yourself because you are worthy.

Once you begin to do this, you will no longer need to worry about what guy has what intention when you meet him, or if the lady you are out with is being truthful or not on a date. It comes down to our own self-trust and some awareness. A good thing to look at is where do you not trust your own self? Perhaps you don’t trust that you won’t lose yourself once you get into a serious relationship again, perhaps you don’t trust your ability to break up with someone lovingly when you really need to and not have it be a huge blowout. There are ways to tell someone it’s not working and have the situation be calm and loving. When you trust yourself, you are able to create a calm conversation and have it go well without guilt or blame. Once you have a strong connection with yourself and have discovered what it means to be there for you, you will begin attracting people who reflect that back. You will begin meeting people who show up for you and that have integrity.

Here are my top three ways to build self-trust and confidence and feel good in your own skin:

·         Figure out what is really important to you when it comes to your own well being. You’ll want to have a starting point that you feel good about, and that is realistic. Write down some things that you love to do, and that make you feel amazing! Does doing yoga in the morning set you up for a fantastic rest of your day? Does eating a healthy breakfast allow you to stay focused? Find some small things that make you feel like you are taking really good care of yourself.

·         Next it’s important to figure out how you’ll implement these things into your daily or weekly schedule. As Marie Forleo says “if it isn’t scheduled, it isn’t real!” I could not agree more. After you have your list of 3 – 5 things that make you feel good, write out when you will be able to do these things. Be realistic about how committed you are to them. Do a gut check. If you find you really aren’t committed to doing something, find something else that you are committed to doing. If you don’t have an hour to go to the gym every morning before work, don’t include that. Instead maybe you can do a 10 minute cardio workout at home and feel really good about that.

·         Start small and recognize when you beat yourself up with guilt and shame if you don’t end up keeping every commitment you made to yourself. Notice how it feels to honour the commitments you do keep, and notice how it feels in your body when you don’t. Know that this takes practice and courage. You are building a relationship with yourself that is new and this will take time.

Once you begin a steady climb of honouring your commitments to yourself and feeling good, start to notice the type of people you begin attracting, and how others treat you. Others will treat us how we treat ourselves so building our self-trust can only lead to good things!

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